“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV).
“Forgive yourself”: the ultimate power move for personal wellness. I mean, I’ll admit . . . it sounds nice. Like a warm hug from a self-help book. Just forgive yourself, and that’s it! Pack it up; we’re all set to go!
The problem is—that ideal doesn’t quite square with the biblical playbook. No matter how much we’d like to hold that kind of power, Scripture doesn’t put us in the driver’s seat of forgiveness—it places that job purely in the hands of God.
Sin Is Against God
Sin is not just a personal “oopsie” that we can mop up with self-talk. It’s a rupture against God, not our own vibe or ego.
David, after his Bathsheba mess, cries, “Against You, You only, have I sinned” (Psalm 51:4 NKJV).
Yes, David did sin against Bathsheba, against Uriah, against his unborn child—he sinned against his people and the nation he was called to serve. But in this verse, he deals with God first. He knows his sin is, first and foremost, a debt against God and God alone. He’s not navel-gazing, wondering how to let himself off the hook. He’s begging God alone for mercy.
Saying “I forgive myself” sidesteps the One who actually holds the ledger. It’s like trying to pay off a mortgage with Monopoly money—nobody’s buying it.
Colossians 2:13-14 says that God forgave us by canceling “the record of the charges against us” through Christ (NLT). Jesus didn’t bleed out on a cross so we could self-soothe; He paid the price because we can’t!
Guilt Tells Us to Go to God
Now, Cathe, you might say, the point of forgiving yourself is to get rid of the guilt you feel. So what about that?
Great question . . . let’s get honest about it. The “forgive yourself” mentality flips the script on guilt. Romans 2:15 talks about consciences bearing witness, accusing or excusing us. Essentially, that means guilt isn’t a wellness blocker to shrug off; it’s a signal, a flashing neon sign saying, “GO TO GOD!”
No, guilt doesn’t feel good. But according to John 16:8-11, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin not to ruin our day, but to point us to the cross! Ignoring guilt or self-absolving the feeling risks missing the real healing.
We Won’t Heal by Relying on Self
So, let’s get down to the root of it all: the treasure hunt for wellness. Well, here’s your treasure map: Wellness, in a biblical sense, is rooted in and grown from peace with God. Philippians 4:7 promises “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding” (NKJV), but it’s tied to prayer and trust in Him, not self-forgiveness. We don’t heal by gazing inward; we’re restored by looking to the Lord.
Here’s the rub: “Forgive yourself” assumes we’re the final authority on our own mess. Biblically, that’s a non-starter. We’re not the judge, jury, or janitor of our souls—God is. The power’s not in self-acceptance; it’s in His grace. So, skip the mirror pep talk. Run to the One who says, “I’ve got this covered—trust Me.” And let the peace of God wash you clean from the inside out.
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9 NKJV).
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Cathe Laurie is the founder and director of the Virtue women’s ministry. She is also a featured speaker on The Virtue Podcast, at Harvest events, and the author of As I See It. You can find her weekly articles here on devenv.harvest.org.

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